{"id":3459,"date":"2023-12-02T18:05:39","date_gmt":"2023-12-02T18:05:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/storypress.site\/?p=3459"},"modified":"2023-12-02T18:05:39","modified_gmt":"2023-12-02T18:05:39","slug":"a-pirate-walked-into-a-bar-and-the-bartender-said","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/storypress.site\/?p=3459","title":{"rendered":"A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said.."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said: \u2018Hey, I haven\u2019t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible. \u2018What do you mean?\u2019 said the pirate, \u2018I feel fine.\u2019 Bartender: \u2018What about the wooden leg? You didn\u2019t have that before. Pirate: \u2018Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I\u2019m fine now.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>Bartender: \u2018Well, ok, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand? \u2018Pirate: \u2018We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I\u2019m fine, really\u2026\u2019 Bartender: \u2018What about that eye patch? \u2018Bartender: \u2018What about that eye patch?\u2019 Pirate: \u2018Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my eye.\u2019 Bartender: \u2018You\u2019re kidding, you lost an eye just from bird shit?\u2019 Pirate: \u2018It was my first day with the hook.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said: \u2018Hey, I haven\u2019t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible. \u2018What do you mean?\u2019&#8230; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3460,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3459","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-finance"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said.. - Story<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/storypress.site\/?p=3459\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said.. - Story\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said: \u2018Hey, I haven\u2019t seen you in a while. 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