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They go on their honeymoon to beautiful, picturesque Venice, Italy. After a day of sightseeing, they return to their hotel. He turns to his young bride and says “Honey, I’m tired after all this excitement. I’m going to go to bed. See you in the morning.” She say ok, and off he goes to bed,…
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Three trees & a woodpecker It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but Here is one: Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small Tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch. ‘Is That…
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of…
He said…. I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it. She said…. You wear pants don’t you? He said….. Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said… That’s a good idea – you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! He said……..
LITTLE JOHNNY IS BACK: The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating. “The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word…
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’ Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly,…
A man phones his wife and asks her: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We’re leaving from office…
GONNA BE A BEAR In this life I’m a woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear. When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal…
A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks. “Are all of those kids yours?” He him and asks, “Are all of those kids yours?” He replies, “No. I work for a condom company. These are customer…
A dad caught his 12-year-old son yelling at his hardworking mom about laundry. Feeling outraged, he decided to teach his son a valuable lesson. He took the boy to the laundry room, showing him how to sort clothes and operate the machines. He wanted his son to understand responsibility. With spring break approaching, the dad…
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