George Strait Breaks His Silence on Garth Brooks: “He’s Not One of Us”

George Strait does everything he can to stay out of political issues. Sometimes, however, a subject comes up that he just can’t keep quiet about.

That subject was Garth Brooks. Brooks, who has been in the news since calling his own fans a-holes, was off of George Strait’s radar until early this morning when Strait broke his silence and confirmed what everyone already knew.

“He’s not one of us,” said Strait, “His act was boring and outdated years ago, so he called people names to stay relevent. Does anyone else laugh when he does the line-dancing thing on stage all by himself?”

Strait says the country world can very well do without Garth Brooks and his liberal stance on everything. “He should apply for President of Bud Light.”

We sent our own ALLOD Correspondent Jack Bowman to chat with Strait in person since the whole thing seemed a bit suspect. Jack was pleased to report that while the story is probably not true, lots of people hope and pray that it is.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Jack wrote, “except on the ALLOD page eleventy billion times a day, but that’s a different story altogether.”

It’s diligent reporting like that and good vocabularital use that makes ALLOD the premier place to get the news YOU hope is true, patriots.

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