Adolescence, which is typically marked by emotional turmoil, disobedience, and the desire for independence, has a unique set of challenges for both teens and their parents. The passage from infancy to adulthood is fraught with periods of growth, self-discovery, and unavoidable conflict. However, amidst the bustle and uncertainty, parents have an opportunity to instill tolerance, understanding, and encouragement.
Teenagers strive for autonomy and independence, which, unfortunately, can lead to disagreements with their parents.
Most mothers and fathers strive to strike a balance between offering independence and keeping authority.
In this delicate relationship, parents must learn when to relinquish control and when to provide direction while preserving open communication.
A mother revealed that her son felt ashamed of her and her husband. He didn’t want to be seen with them, so he asked to be dropped off a block away from where he was supposed to be so that his pals wouldn’t see he was being driven by his parents.
In an attempt to teach him a lesson, the mom decided to act the same way.
My 14-year-old son started being ashamed of my husband and me about 2 years ago. We thought this would pass, but it has gotten worse. We’re just regular people, but you’d think we’re weirdos the way he treats us.
He tells us things like, “Don’t come to my games,” “don’t leave me right out front” and “I’ll go ahead at the mall, so people don’t think we come together.” The list goes on and on. He’s great when we buy him something or do what he wants, but lately, he’s been treating us like garbage.
A couple of days ago, I drove 40 minutes to pick him up from a school event, and he made me wait for him a block away. When he saw me, there were other kids around, he turned red and stopped. He waited for the kids to pass, then got in the car, slid down, and said, “Drive.” I’ve told him how all this makes us feel, but he doesn’t care. Well, I’ve had enough.
That night, he needed a new t-shirt for an event, so as I was driving to the store, I said, “Duck!” and pushed his head down. I then told him that I thought the person driving around was a friend from college, and I didn’t want him to see us together. When he asked me why, I told him I was embarrassed. When we arrived at the store, I got out of the car and hurried to the entrance.
When my son caught up with me, I asked him to stay a few feet back in case I ran into someone I knew at the store. He knew what I was doing. I then asked him how it felt to be treated like an embarrassment, and he said, “Not good.”
The next morning, we went to the transit office to pick up a bus pass for him (I told him I no longer wanted to be seen in a car with him and that he would have to take the bus from now on). I expressed aloud how much I regretted having to go into the office with him and that I was more concerned about how the clerk, whom I did not know, would perceive me than how I made him feel. I then asked him to stand by the door and not speak. I think he’s getting the point, but I’m still not sure.
I told my sister about this, and she got furious. She thinks I should understand that this is a phase and he will outgrow it. But I feel like I’ve given him almost 2 years, and this phase is a well-ingrained habit that I’m tired of. What do you guys think?
