Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco, and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, “Think I’m gonna divorce the wife she ain’t spoke to me in over 2 months.” Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, “Better think it over; women like that are hard…
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, all sorts of things. The grandad is saying in a controlled voice: “Easy, William, we won’t be long… easy boy.” Another outburst and she hears the grandad calmly say: “It’s…
A little five year old girl was usually driven to school in the mornings by her Grandad, but one day he had a bad cold so her Grandmother took her. That night the little girl told her parents that the ride to school with Granny was very different. What with Granny was very different. What…
CONTINUE READING “A little five year old girl was usually driven to school in th mornings…” »
They go on their honeymoon to beautiful, picturesque Venice, Italy. After a day of sightseeing, they return to their hotel. He turns to his young bride and says “Honey, I’m tired after all this excitement. I’m going to go to bed. See you in the morning.” She say ok, and off he goes to bed,…
CONTINUE READING “A 90 year-old man mārrìès a bèāutìful 25 yèār-old woman..” »
Three trees & a woodpecker It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but Here is one: Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small Tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch. ‘Is That…
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of…
He said…. I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it. She said…. You wear pants don’t you? He said….. Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said… That’s a good idea – you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! He said……..
LITTLE JOHNNY IS BACK: The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating. “The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word…
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’ Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly,…
A man phones his wife and asks her: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We’re leaving from office…